Let's talk Shakespeare (and when I say talk, I mean complain about...)

According to Wikipedia, no-one knows when William Shakespeare was born, further enforcing my idea that he is one of the many spawns of Satan.

If you have ever studied English,( which you must have because we've all been to school at some point in our lives... although if not, haven't you got some manual labour to be getting on with?) you'll have most likely faced the wrath of Shakespeare be it Romeo & Juliet (probably the most bearable of his workings),Macbeth or even Hamlet(Witney college A2 English Lang & Lit put ya' hands up!).

While there is certainly nothing wrong with the basic storyline in each respective play,there is a lot wrong with everything else. For example...

.How he manipulated words just so they could fit in with his style of writing
.How he insisted on making every last line overly complicated
.How he could never quite decide how his characters behave
.How he decide not to use speech marks (I suppose that's ok because they're plays but I'm onto something here.)

Now, I wouldn't have much of a problem with this, if it wasn't for teachers worshipping this, considering his work to be the best work of literature ever created.JUST BECAUSE HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO TRY THESE THINGS DOESN'T MAKE IT THE BEST! These techniques were put here for people to expand and improve upon, not to just stare at for the next 500 years remarking how wonderful it all is. And then, your teacher will make you slog through every English lesson, trying to decode what Shakespeare was trying to say when he used the word "hello". (And I'm not even exaggerating, my English lecturer actually set this a question once...)

And if you tried to use any of Shakespeare's techniques in your own work, you'd just get shunned by your teacher for having a rubbish,nonsensical bit of writing.

You can try and point out Shakespeare's flaws to your Teacher but they are too busy sucking off his memory to listen.

You see, Shakespeare's work is like TV charity events; they try to say they make a difference when really they're not getting anywhere fast,you're not getting anywhere fast and they're both wallowing in self-indulgence.


Well that was a nice first Blog post...see you next time ;)

-Reece Wilson-Prince of Denmark